Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I remember being in the shower and not being able to hold myself up anymore. I leaned against the shower wall and began to pray and ask God to for the sweet relief of death. The doctors had no answers and it really seemed like this was how the rest of my life was going to be so why not end it here? It's funny how circumstances like this can make death seem so welcoming.
As I prayed to die I began singing a song that I always hear in church "When I see Jesus". The words felt so good because I wanted to die and see Jesus more than anything but as I began to sing and tears poured down my face I heard God speak. He didn't get loud or hype and seemed so unfazed by my ridiculous tantrum. Just as calm as He pleased he whispered Isaiah 55:11
"So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it."
And I began to remember the promises that God made over my life. I began to remember being diagnosed and God telling me not to be afraid because he had factored this into His plan and that He didn't change his mind. So I pulled it together and I took the medicine and I got sick. And I took it the next day. And I got sick.Until my doctors pulled my off the medication and I began to get better. It happened so fast. And I have so much life in me.
I never realized how much we take for granted the little things like being able to sit up at a table and eat or even having an appetite. Being able to decide to get dressed and just doing it! being able to walk outside without holding on to anyone and not just breathe the fresh air but to have an awareness that you are outside. And even though that was the hardest thing I ever had to endure and by far the most frightful and lonely time I can recall, I thank God for the experience.
Many people I know need money and parties, alcohol, drugs and sex to enjoy life but me.....I am thrilled to just sit here in this chair and type on a computer that a few days ago I could not sit in front of.
In the end when all what seems to be "fun" fades away. All that matters is that God is pleased with your life...and trust me you don't want to learn that lesson the hard way!
Friday, December 26, 2008
- Nothing that lives in water and breathes solely underwater has ever been able to survive outside of the water long enough to evolve into something else.
- If humans followed this path out of the water to evolve then why hasn't any other creature followed this same path.
- There is just as much scientific proof of this theory as there is to support the theory that in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, and then created man in his own image.
My main reason for addressing this overall was because I want us (Christians) to stop making false accusations concerning Mr.Darwin. After all given the "premises" presented in his theory do we really need to fabricate a recant to make them sound absurd?
Kitt died of colon cancer for which she was recently treated at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in New York, said Andrew Freedman, a long-time friend and publicist.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
For example, Jesus was never a baby in the manger! The bible teaches that Jesus was the manifestation of God in the flesh, he was not Mary actual child (see Matthew 1:23). That is why he had to tell that sister that he had to be about his "father's business" because Joseph was not his daddy. Even in the manger he was still God because he transcends time (see John 1:1,14).
Secondly in keeping with John 1:1,14 we understand Christmas nor any other day was or is Jesus birthday. He is Alpha and Omega and before the earth was formed he dwelt in the deep.
Third, Jesus did not come to bring peace on earth; he came to bring Salvation. He came because we were in sin and had to continually sacrifice animals blood for the atonement of our sins and so He came himself to pay the ultimate price. He came so that we cold serve a God that we knew understood us because he had become one of us (Heb. 4:15). The mission wasn't to bring us together under a tree but it was to die on a tree and so that we would only ave to but confess our sins and accept salvation. So that we could be adopted into his royal priesthood although we were bastards.
Well I am gong to stop there because I could go on for days but it baffles me how people can really think they are doing something wonderful by applying all of our carnal ways to a spiritual being.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Although the "Sanctum" is not longer a physical place it can be reached through prayer. It is that place in prayer where we are no longer concerned with saying the right things and trying to impress God and become vulnerable only to him. It is that place where we don't really need to speak but all we want to do is listen and hear what God says and if he is silent we are content with just feeling his presence. The "Sanctum" is a place of safety and it is a place of security in God.
And when we get hurt or something is wrong, just like a child clinging to their parents waist we cling to the apron strings of God. We hold on to "Dad" because we know that's the only guarantee for security that we have. But at some point (and this is where we mess up) you have to learn to come out!
Move -in days at any college campus are always full of emotional parents who are dropping off their children and expecting them to come back greater than when they left them. They have provided the covering over their children long enough for them to gain all the skills necessary to achieve greatness and now they are expecting a return on their investment. Will they no longer need their parents? Of course they will!!! And probably will always turn to them when things become too much for the rest of their lives! But now it is time to take all the strength and knowledge gained while being protected from the trials of life and go out an become lawyers, doctors, nurses, teachers, etc.
In similar fashion God has been our covering. He has been the protection from dealing with the full attacks of Satan and having to face our hurts, pains and disappointments alone and now God is expecting us to go out and complete the purpose he has for our lives. He needs us to grow up and come from behind him and take all the strength gathered during our infancy and toddler stages and face this thing. Do we longer need him? Of course we will and he will be there as the covering but on order for us to carry the portion of the ministry that God has given each of us individually than we are going to have to learn how to face trials and tribulation. We have to increase the level of burdens we can bear.
If Job had never been exposed to the attacks of the enemy he would have never grown to the place in God he reached. And rest assured just like Job we will have growing pains but we have to trust that God is a good parent and has raised us with the ability to accomplish his will and our destiny.